Who Am I?

‘Who am I’?

    Before answering this significant spiritual question, it is important to note what Bhagavan Sri Krishna says about the three constituents of the human being (jiva)- the adhibhoutika, adhidaivika and the Adhyatmika. The human body has four main components- physical body (sthula sharira), the mind (manas), nervous system (nara-nadi), and the soul (Atman). The nervous system consists of an extensive network of nerves and neurons, although included in the physical body as a gross entity such as the alimentary canal or the food pipe, the wind pipes, blood veins, and smaller and smaller veins that constitute the subtlest of subtle aspects of the jiva that carries signals like sentiments, emotion, pain, pleasure, love, compassion, and many other invisible forces!

    The outer material body or the earthen shell is made of soil and water, rather food, and support the tissues, organs and the body that comprise of small invisible cells numbering about several trillions! As a matter of fact, the jiva is a gross body (sthula / adhibhuta) made up of the five elements- (a) pruthvi /earth/soil and minerals (food), (b) jal- water, (c) agni-fire, (d) vayu/air, and (akasha) space.

   The second one is the Mind (manas / adhidaiva); it is both gross and subtle according to its changing states- mind and mood (chitta). Mind and mood play a very dominant role in the life of the jiva.

    The third one is the subtle causal spiritual entity (karana sharira / adhyatma) which normally does not play active role, unless activated by the Mind (manas) and the Intellect (buddhi). This the subtler aspect of the jiva. It is a complex system of nerves and neurons that carry all that is subtler and vital to the very survival of the jiva. These are partly visible and partly invisible carrying currents of sensation, life-force, thoughts and feelings, emotions, and, as such, very little understood by the jiva. The entire body is a network of these nerves and neurons numbering 36 000 on each side of the body totaling 72 000. One central nerve only branches out into a hundred, which in turn each one into a hundred and thereby cover the entire body. These nerves and neurons play a very significant role in the life of the jiva conveying the life-forces, emotions, signals and enable the organs to function. Of these four major constituents of the jiva, the outer physical body depends on food, water, and air. It is controlled by the Mind that interacts with and through the physical instrument of brain located in the head. The Mind, however, is greatly influenced by food, drinks, and the objects of the world including the waves and tides! However, the soul remains a mere spectator, unless called for with the help of yoga with the help of a learned spiritual teacher. 

   The fourth component is the Soul, Atman, the core of the jiva. The living being, jivatman, is a noble aspect of creation. It is the invisible essential part of the entire system! In fact, it has all the knowledge, information and technology, ability to create and transform whatever it needs! This is the divine aspect of creation, may be, the Creator only! There is nothing besides this in all the universe and entire universe is the manifest forms of this invisible powerful divine entity! 

  What is mysterious about the jiva, as a living entity, is the system of living cells- pindanda. This unique biological phenomenon is a conglomerate of a very complex system of intelligent cells (andanda)! These cells, almost invisible to our naked eyes, perform wonders! Each biological cell (jiva kosha) is equipped with Consciousness (chit), knowledge and intelligence (jnyan and buddhi), and an immense capacity to function in multifarious ways, such as, understanding, considering, discerning, disseminating, connecting, coordinating, conducting and conveying (without itself moving!), diligently organizing, dividing and destroying, etc. These cells, initially, one single entity consisting of amino acids, ribosomes, di oxy ribonucleic acids (DNA), enzymes, vitamins, genes, Harmons, chromosomes, and a host of other invisible forces and power that can execute the signals such as desires (ichha), dreams, imaginations, and the like of the jiva!

    Each and every organ of the jiva is a complex system of tissues made of cells. The cells that constitute the heart, the lungs, the kidney or the liver, the brain, the nerves and neurons, the bones and bone marrow, the blood, the skin, and all the minute organs of the body are nothing but the pulsating cells, and nothing more than that! More than all these, the cells have the innate capacity to construct or destroy whatever they deem fit and the decision making capacity is inherent in each cell, thereby, the body grows, matures, deteriorates, and dies!

    The scientists are working out the ways and means of making these cells constantly rejuvenate endlessly, keep the body young without ageing and deteriorate and collapse. However, it is difficult for the maturing cells to go back in time- from old age to childhood!

   As far as the activities of the jiva are concerned, almost all spend their entire life in acquiring some knowledge and skill so as to enable oneself to get sufficient food and live comfortably. There is hardly any time left for any other pursuit, much less to know about the very purpose of such a living! The neglect of the soul by the ignorant jiva has created a mess and little does the jiva knows about this. Only a few sensible persons have ever thought about it and pursued the knowledge of the soul, Atmajnyan. Almost all the people die without knowing this simple truth. The tragedy is that the most successful persons in public life who achieve laurels like Nobel Prize, and national recognition like the Bharat Ratna, die without knowing who the real person, ‘purusha’, he/she is! So far, none has ever given a thought to how the jiva arrived here on earth as a sub-atomic particle (an atomic energy particle), in the form photon, (particle of ‘Light’) emitted by a distant star; it entered the clouds, rain drop, soil, food particle and became a ‘spermatozoa’ It entered the would-be mother’s womb and, remember, the chance of impregnation is almost nil! What all the jiva, as a human being, later attains (as a famous doctor or engineer, scientist or philosopher) is just a faculty (bit of material knowledge, that too, an insignificant part of the total knowledge) of their selected field of interest, or by force of destiny and chance!

    Once a person realizes the ‘truth’, who he/she is, the objective phenomenal world falls off like a house of cards! The jiva is liberated from its repeated cycles of births and deaths, metempsychosis’ the moment it realizes who it is! All the attachment to the worldly objects disappears. This is the end of all desires and attachments. Here is an anecdote from the Jataka Tales. When Gautama became the Buddha, he was brought to his father’s Palace and introduced to his father, wife, and son. But, the Buddha did not recognize anybody! He said, “I have no father, wife, or son”! 

   Then, one of them asked Rahul, son of Gautama, “Who are you since your father disowns you? He also said, “I don’t know! I have not seen my father ever since he left before I could see and know him, nor do I know anything about my father’s mother! I am told she was already dead by the time my father could see her!” This gives us an idea about how we all are attached to the world due to ignorance of our true nature. The phenomenal objective world is transient and subject to death decay and dissolution. There is nothing permanent about it and we somehow cling onto it!

    The same is the story of many a orphans, forlorn children abandoned, or sold for a price, or adopted by some foreigners, or for that matter, even those saved from a hospital fire, or accident site. These kids do not know anything about their antecedents. 

    And, Lo! There are people who boast of their religions, caste and creed, and belief systems and harm others who do not follow them! All these are eye openers to a person who is enamored by attachment, greed, ego, and suffers from ignorance.   

    But then, “Who am I?” This question is persistently asked by every jiva when it gets puzzled as to its role in life. It is confused. It is always somebody and not the real self. Hence it seeks an answer. What is the answer? The answer is very simple and direct. When all that are called ‘me and mine’ are discarded what remains is ‘that’ pure self. This pure self is inexplicable. It is pure bliss, total awareness of the true self. This state is found in deep sleep as well as a state of samadhi yoga. It is not an unconscious state; it is total awareness of the self and everything else within its self. 

   A living being, jiva, rather, an embodied soul, will ultimately find out who he/she is after a long introspection, quest, taking an inward journey in search of truth! It (the jiva) discovers that it is an embodiment, acquisition of a material gross physical body and it is constantly changing with time; hence it is not the ‘sat’, true self. So also, the fickle mind is always thinking about this and that, called ‘manovikalpa’, or’ chanchala chitta’, together with the perverted intelligence (vipareeta buddhi), is not the true self. The ‘ego’ (ahankar) that rules the jiva, too, is not the self. All these- manas, buddhi and ahankar, are at rest when the jiva when the jiva goes to deep sleep. So, the jiva finds that all these appendage- physical, mental or psychosomatic entity that is of no avail to find out the true ‘Self’, that is covered by avidya.

     Finally, a Guru (Yogacharya Shree Krishna) comes, as if by divine providence, to help the confused jiva (Arjuna) to redeem it from all this mire of mental or physical, earthly existence. However, it is not that easy; this needs a bit of carryover of the fruits of action (karma phala) carried over from the past (purvarjita), God’s grace (anugraha), and the blessings (ashirvada) of the departed souls, teachers, and elders. 

     The jiva has to prepare for this long journey taking recourse to yoga through spiritual practices (adhyatma sadhana), satsang, and study of scriptures. Finally, the jiva comes to know that it is not ‘this’ and this’. It finds out that the true nature of the jiva is nothing but the ‘truth, consciousness and bliss (sat-chit-ananda) and, it is finally redeemed. This may happen instantly or may take several lives! This is a big question mark? It is all a question of discarding what all is acquired from birth, rather than adding accumulating wealth and appendages, prefixes, affixes, and afflictions to the name, form, and function or revel in the mire of earthly existence, enjoying a sensuous life that is transient.

 Self-Realization (Atma-sakshatkara)

   The need for Self-Realization arises as a result of the limitations set by time-space-causality, on the one hand, and the acquired qualities of the jiva due to its earth-bound state depending on the food derived from its soil, on the other. The jiva finds itself in an eternal birth-death-rebirth syndrome and suffers hunger, thirst, ailments and old age during its short span of a hundred years or less of its life. This ‘realization’ (if at all it comes?), it is hoped, would open a new vista as to the awareness of the true nature of the jivatman that would erase the ignorance and pave way for enlightenment! This will not happen as long as the jiva is working outward. Thus, the need for an inward journey leading to realization of the Self, atma sakshatkara arises.   

    What exactly happens when the jiva contemplates on itself is- ‘the realization of its true nature’. After a long contemplation, the jiva realizes that the body it has built over a time from food, say a few drops of milk or a spoonful of baby food, starting from the day it is born to its ripe old age eating breakfast, lunch, snacks, and a few drinks in between holding is nothing but a earthen pot! It is the same food that is converted into cells, tissues, organs with blood and bones. It is almost 70 per cent water and 28 per cent earth (food), the rest being air, fire and space within. Thus, the microcosmic jiva is a replica of the macrocosm. That is the reason why the scriptures say; as is the macro, so is the brahmanda (micro) so is the pindanda (microcosm). The miniscule organic entity that constitutes the jiva as the ‘cells’ (jiva kosha) plays a vital role here. The blue print of the entire jiva is held in a jelly like protein-covered cell consisting of the amino acids, enzymes, vitamins, hormones, chromosomes, the Ribose nucleic acids (RNA) and the DNA. The entire plan and the path of journey of the jiva’s journey is mapped here. In fact, every aspect of birth, growth and death is clearly laid down in a zipped manner like a computer memory chip! This realization is ‘Atma sakshatkar’.

     The jiva, in the course of its deep contemplation in a state of transcendental meditation, suddenly gets a flash, realizes that it is not the physical body, the senses and mind, the buddhi or the ahankar, but a divine spark, an ion or photon.  It is not even the torso, the limbs or the head that matters in day-today life. The mind itself plays a dominant role in life of the jiva, much to its disadvantage! Mind is the cause of misery and the jiva suffers due to its ignorance. Almost like a divine intervention there comes a turning point in life when the jiva realizes the true nature of its self. It realizes that the jiva arrived as an energy particle, a particle of Light, photon, reached the earth and got embedded in an earthen pot, a gross body, The horoscope give the exact location of the star in the sky. It is not difficult to decipher all these secrets from a horoscope provided the astrologer is also an astronomer! Otherwise, it is just a pastime.

     The Bhagavad-Gita also gives these details how the jiva is not a mortal body but an unborn, eternal and immortal entity as the soul, Atman or ‘jiva jyothi’ embodied in an earthen shell; Life is not just a journey from the date of birth to the date of death. It is the eternal journey of a particle of Light is space. This Light contains knowledge, consciousness (Chit), having all information in a zipped chip form, with the ability to transform objects and run a course in different forms and functions. 

     Thus, LIFE is a manifest form of several subtler forces such as Light (Knowledge), Intelligence, Force (Shakti), and Energy (Prana). It also contains the essential ingredients of a divine nature, the ‘sat’, ‘chit’, and ‘ananda’. It is capable of visualizing its true nature. This is called ‘Shiva’ in the scriptures. Shiva is not only aware of Himself as the Self, but also, as ‘another’, another not much different than the Self. The world, ‘prakruti’, or Shive is the creative power of Shiva. Thus, the jiva is nothing but Shiva. 'Shiva is prakasha' (Light), Shiva is also Shive, vimarsha, the analytical aspect, the universe. The combined aspect of Shiva and Shive, as Shivayuvati or ardhanarishvara is one. Thus, everything is the manifest form of one’s own, the Self.