Wo Am I?

     ‘Who am I’?

    Before answering this important spiritual question, it is important to note what Bhagavan Sri Krishna says about the three constituents of the human being (jiva). The outer material or earthen shell is the gross (sthula) physical body. It is made up of the five elements- earth/soil and minerals (food), water, fire, air, and space. The second one is the Mind. It is both gross and subtle according to its state of mind and mood (chitta). Mind and mood play a very dominant role in the life of the jiva. The third one is  the subtle one which normally does not play active role unless activated by the manas and the buddhi. This is the soul, Atman, the core of the jiva. The living being, jivatman, is a noble aspect of creation. There is yet another subtler aspect of the jiva; this is a complex system of nerves and neurons that carry all that is subtler and vital to the very survival of the jiva. These are partly visible and partly invisible carrying currents of sensation, life-force, thoughts and feelings, emotions, and, as such, very little understoof by the jiva.The entire body is a network of these nerves and neurons numbering 36 000 on each side of the body totaling 72 000. One central nerve only branches out into hundreds and cover the entire body as shown in the diagrams later. These play a very significant role in the life of the jiva. Of these four constituents of the jiva the physical body depends on food, water and air and, the mind too, is greatly influenced by food, but not the soul.

   As far as the activities of the jiva is concerned, almost all spend their entire life in acquiring some knowledge and skill so as to enable oneself to get sufficient food and live comfortably. There is hardly any time left for any other pursuit, much less to know about the very purpose of such a living! The neglect of the soul has created a mess and little does the jiva knows about this. Only a few sensible persons have ever thought about it and pursued the knowledge of the soul, Atmajnyan. Almost all the people die without knowing this simple truth. The tragedy is that the most successful persons in public life who achieve laurels like Nobel Prize, and national recognition like the Bharat Ratna, die without knowing who the real person, ‘purusha’, he/she is!

  Once a person realizes the ‘truth’, wwho he/she is, the objective phenomenal world falls off like a house of cards! The jiva is liberatd from its repeated cycles of births and deaths, metempsychosis’ the moment it realises who it is! All the attachment to the worldlty objects disappears. This is the end of all desires and attachments. Here is an anecdote from the Jataka Tales. When Gautama became the Buddha, he was brought to his father’s Palace and introduced to his father, wife, and son. But, the Buddha did not recognize anybody! He said, “I have no father, wife, or son”!

   Then, one of them asked Rahul son of Goutama, “Who are you since your father disowns you? He also said, “I don’t know! I have not seen my father ever since he left before I could see and know him, nor do I know anything about my father’s mother! I am told she was already dead by the time my father could see her!” This gives us an idea about how we all are attached to the world due to ignorance of our true nature. The phenomenal objective world is transient and subject to death decay and dissolution. There is nothing permanent about it and we somehow cling onto it!

    The same is the story of many a orphans, forlorn children  abandoned, or sold for a price, or adopted by some foreigners, or for that matter, even those saved from a hospital fire, or accident site. These kids do not know anything about their antecedents.

    And, Lo! There are people who boast of their religions, caste and creed, and belief systems and harm others who do not follow them! All these are eye openers to a person who is enmoured by atachment, greed, ego, and suffers from ignorance.  

    But then, “Who am I?” This question is persistently asked by every jiva when it gets puzzled as to its role in life. It is confused. It is always somebody and not the real self. Hence it seeks an answer. What is the answer? The answer is very simple and direct. When all that are called ‘me and mine’ are discarded what remains is ‘that’ pure self. This pure self is inexplicable. It is pure bliss, total awareness of the true self. This state is found in deep sleep as well as a state of samadhi yoga. It is not an unconscious state; it is total awareness of the self and everything else within its self.

   A living being, jiva, rather, an embodied soul, will ultimately find out who he/she is after a long introspection, quest, taking an inward journey in search of truth! It (the jiva) discovers that it is an embodiment, acquisition of a material gross physical body and it is constantly changing with time; hence it is not the ‘sat’, true self. So also, the fickle mind is always thinking about this and that, called ‘manovikalpa’, or’ chanchala chitta’, together with the perverted intelligence (vipareeta buddhi), is not the true self. The ‘ego’ (ahankar) that rules the jiva, too, is not the self. All these- manas, buddhi and ahankar, are at rest when the jiva when the jiva goes to deep sleep. So, the jiva finds that all these appendage- physical, mental or psychosomatic entity that is of no avail to find out the true ‘Self’, that is covered by avidya.

     Finally, a Guru (Yogacharya Shree Krishna) comes, as if by divine providence, to help the confused jiva (Arjuna) to redeem it from all this mire of mental or physical, earthly existence. However, it is not that easy; this needs a bit of carryover of the fruits of action (karma phala) carried over from the past (purvarjita), God’s grace (anugraha), and the blessings (ashirvada) of the departed souls, teachers, and elders.

     The jiva has to prepare for this long journey taking recourse to yoga through spiritual practices (adhyatma sadhana), satsang, and study of scriptures. Finally, the jiva comes to know that it is not ‘this’ and this’. It finds out that the true nature of the jiva is nothing but the ‘truth, consciousness and bliss (sat-chit-ananda) and, it is finally redeemed. This may happen instantly or may take several lives! This is a big question mark? It is all a question of discarding what all is acquired from birth, rather than adding accumulating wealth and appendages, prefixes, affixes, and afflictions to the name, form, and function or revelling in the mire of earthly existence, enjoying a sensuous life that is transient.